There comes a time when you lose your diginity and the contents of your purse.

Saturday night I went out, I got completely shitfaced with my girls. I lost count after 6 shots. This old lady certainly cannot party like she used too. There is proof, yes, pictures floating around the internet as I type. I am here to present you with the best of the best. Feel free to shake your head in shame as you view these trainwreck photos.



Yes, Tipsy. You can see it in our eyes.



Clearly I was not amused. I think I may have been frightened for my life. These bitches and this strange man were trying to run a train on me or some shit. DO. NOT. WANT.



And I went gay. Awesome.

Yeah, this gets better. My friends pratically had to drag me inside. I kicked off my sexy shoes and decicided the couch was where I was going to sleep. There was no way in hell I was going to make it up the stairs to my bedroom. I get all snuggly on the sofa tohave my husband come downstairs to make sure I was still alive. He inisted I go upstairs. I did but not without my burrito, I clutched to that thing like it was an infant and someone was trying to steal it. Chad manages to strip me down. I am in my bra and panties now. He crawls into bed with me. OMG instant panic mode. Who the fuck is this guy and why is he in my bed?!?! Doesn't he know my husband will kill him? I insist he get out of my bed. He says he IS my husband I start quizzing him. During this drunken conversation Chad thinks it will be funny to lie to me while I am grilling him. He says the Cowboys are his favorite basketball team and I flip ouut. I literally threw him uot of my bed. I then passed out. The great, fun, guy that he is, he decided it would be fun to stage me in our bed. Asshole. So I give you this beautiful picture. (For the record I did not take a bite out of that burrito, he did and then he stuffed it in my hand.)




God, I am sexy.

I had the worst hangover EVER on Sunday. I was taken to Seattle to get some yummy chowder and it was the worst 25 minute drive of my life. I wanted to die. I did not want chowder. I want to sleep off the hangover. Lesson learned... I think not.